Life Lessons

Pick your snow battles



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Winter is in the air... and all over the South Lawn. Students have taken the recent snowstorm as an excuse for an all-out slush war. There are a few individuals you might not want to assume have caught the snowball bug.

Your professor: While you think a friendly snowball accompanied with a bright smile will warm even the coldest hearts of Columbia’s faculty, your midterm grade might say differently.

GS students: Chances are, they probably have more combat experience than you do.

Your roommate: The phrase “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” can never feel so apt as ice to the face at two in the morning.

The rugby team: A tackle will be much more painful than a snowball.

That cute girl in Lit Hum: Snowballs are not substitutes for candy grams.

Grad students: Like heads of a hydra, when one goes down, four will take his or her place.

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