500 Words or Less
state of what union?
PrintFor those preoccupied with their State of the Union drinking games to pay attention, here’s the Sparknotes version:
I. Obama called for a tax on banks to pay back the bank bailout—there goes every Columbia aspiring I-banker’s 5-year plan on Wall Street. Luckily, he proposed a jobs bill to make up for it and give the current senior class hope for after graduation.
II. President Obama also promised to lower your tuition, end unemployment, and give everyone a pony. Seriously though, he asked colleges to not raise tuition (much to PrezBo’s chagrin) and offered a plan that would forgive student loan debt for grads who work in public service after college. Hope!
III. If Sam Alito was your pick for this year’s “Joe ‘You Lie!’ Wilson Award,” you win.
IV. President Obama promised to end the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that forbids gay soldiers. Army generals looked on with dismay.
V. Throughout the speech, Republicans didn’t clap, Joe Biden didn’t stop clapping, and Nancy Pelosi didn’t blink.
Now go and talk to your friends about how Obama delivered a great speech and hope they don’t remember all those shots you chugged.
4 February 2010
vol. 8, issue 2
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