PrintJust in case you don’t follow Maggie’s advice and get out of Butler, here are some tips for survival during the coming weeks.
Do develop a Butler crush. Despite the fact that they will most likely not reciprocate your longing glances, they will motivate you to study harder so perhaps one day you can show them your intellectual worth. Your teacher will be confused when your seven page art hum paper has a dedication page.
Do secure a spot in 209. Whether it’s the malfunctioning heating units, spotty Wi-Fi, glimpses of James Franco, or the Chromeo-bro, you’ve got to go where the action is, and it’s definitely in 209.
Do get it on in the stacks, preferably in a section where there is a book you’re looking for. During finals weeks it’s all about time management, and what’s a more efficient use of time than preventing sexual frustration while also browsing through those confusing call numbers. Save the romance for winter break.
Don’t think just having a laptop and a couple of library books on the desk will save your spot. Especially when it gets close to crunch time and people get desperate. You need something a little more permanent, like wet socks or a mannequin body double.
Don’t think just because you aren’t sitting in your room you’ll procrastinate less. If you are sitting with even one minor acquaintance in Butler you can expect at least eight lengthy Gchat convos, two food runs to Hamdel, and three stops at Blue Java. That leaves you about 15 minutes to write that paper.
Don’t leave your ring tone on. There is nothing worse than having “Party in the U.S.A.” go off in a big room in Butler. You’re bound to get one of those bizarre Butler laughs where everyone stops what they are doing, looks up, and breaks the Butler silence for the sole purpose of laughing at your horribly mainstream taste in music.