Late Registration
a slacker's guide
By Evan Omi
PrintWait, what? We were supposed to register for classes this week?!? Maybe I was the only one to completely forget about registration, but I’m sure there are many of you out there who didn’t get into the classes you wanted. Don’t fret. Here are five types of courses that are definitely still open and definitely still rock!
1. Any class at 9 a.m.: Convince yourself taking a class at 9 will encourage a healthy lifestyle. You’ll wake up before dawn, make incredible smoothies, run five miles, and somehow still find the time to read the Times before class. In the classroom you’ll be bright and energetic, ask thought-provoking questions, and write copious notes. See how good it feels to dream! You’ll thank me later when you wake up in a puddle of drool sitting in one of those bizarre swing-out chairs in International Affairs.
2. Scuba diving: This class sounds so crazy. It’s probably just like that movie “Into the Blue” with Jessica Alba, but instead of Jessica Alba it’s like five SEAS dudes. I would say that’s a fair trade-off for one credit.
3. CC or Lit Hum again (juniors or seniors only): Rumor has it that if you sneak into CC or Lit Hum a second time, you unlock a secret tome of cocktail-party quotes. Also, you’ll know how all the books end, which is a crazy advantage. Just don’t give them away—remember your classmates are normal Columbia students taking these courses for the first and only time.
4. A graduate course in a field you haven’t studied: I’ve learned from valuable experience that all those prerequisites for classes are just meant to keep out the weak-willed. I’ve been taking pediatrics courses since freshman year and talk about some easy As. If it’s on the online directory its basically fair game. Just show up in a lab coat and speak with an English accent — no one will ask any questions.
5. One of the Art Hum or Music Hum courses they open up later: Laugh in the faces of all your stressed-out peers who will never graduate
because they can’t tell the difference between organum and harmonized hymn. Sometimes being a slacker pays off.
19 November 2009
vol. 7, issue 10
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