PrintAs many of you may already know, this Sunday, Oct. 11, was National Coming Out Day. (If you missed it, sorry, you’ll have to wait till next year.) Such a holiday asks us, as a university, to reflect on the ways in which we include or exclude our LGBT brothers and sisters (and all those in between or otherwise). It has recently been brought to my attention that the newly reinstated Columbia School of Mixology has not taken the opportunity of their fresh start to add any unequivocally queer drinks to the “over 150” it purports to teach. Though there are a few drinks (such as Sex on the Beach), which could arguably go both ways, only Ahmadinejad would be proud that none of the other “over 149” is openly gay or lesbian. In light of this clear oversight, I propose a new drink be added to the syllabus, the popular (bafflingly pre-”Brokeback”) Australian drink known only as The Cocksucking Cowboy (an actual drink, trust us). The recipe is as follows:
2 parts cold Butterscotch Schnapps
1 part Baileys Irish Cream
Pour Baileys off the back of a bar spoon so it floats on top of the
Schnapps in a shot glass.
Throw back. One gulp.
Though he could not be reached for comment, I believe that this creamy concoc(k)tion would be wholeheartedly endorsed by Columbia’s very own dropout, erstwhile cowboy, and definite bottom: the incomparable Jake Gyllenhaal. Mixologists, I urge you, do the right thing.