PrintAmong students in Columbia College, the notion that all General Studies students are strange seems as timeless and unquestionable as the Core Curriculum. Fairly or unfairly, as a GS student, my reputation often precedes me. Perhaps it is time for me to confront this reputation and start a dialogue with other members of the University community that will broach pressing issues vis-à-vis GS’s role on campus. Toward that end, I will be using this column to answer CC students’ questions about what life is like for those of us in GS. Here are two inquiries I received this week:
Q: What do GS students do for fun?
A: When not doing schoolwork, some of us go to the racetrack to bet money on horses; others frequent dark and grimy strip clubs to drool over women young enough to be our grand-daughters. But most of us like to sit in our bedrooms alone, drinking cheap whiskey and resting our arthritic knees as we plot our vengeance against society for having wronged us throughout our lives.
Q: Why didn’t you graduate college sooner?
A: First of all, it’s “graduate from college,” but I guess reading all those books doesn’t guarantee you a good education after all. I didn’t graduate earlier because I discovered the pleasure of watching CC kids head to Goldman Sachs or law school, end up in unloving marriages with children who take them for granted, and finally find themselves bald and unhappy, living an existence in which joy is as fleeting as the cute little YouTube videos they currently gush over.
I hope these answers have been helpful to those of you in CC, and I look forward to continuing these efforts toward mutual understanding. If we work together, I truly believe we can make the Columbia community one in which all undergraduates have a place. Thanks for reading!