The View From Here / essay
Mind-Full-ness
PrintI used to think meditation was weird. I couldn’t help but picture an old man with a beard sitting at the top of a mountain somewhere chanting into the distance; a figure like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, with his long, white, flowing beard, floor-length robe, and all knowing eyes staring down at me. But now that a practice once reserved for the spiritual elite has become more mainstream, I felt capable and open to its benefits. I didn’t turn to meditation because it was a fad. I began practicing out of necessity.
College life can be extremely stressful, and it is easy to put one’s work ahead of oneself. Halfway through my junior year, I found myself so focused on doing well in school and building my resume for a future career that I didn’t even have time for my friends. It was becoming harder for me to focus. I was agitated, and I was anxious.
Normally I’d head to the gym to work off some steam, but trips to the Dodge Fitness Center left me feeling more like a gerbil caught in a cage than a rejuvenated human being. Needless to say, in with the old out with the new, a change needed to be made, and I embarked on a search for one of the most ancient natural remedies.
Although meditation is traditionally used for religious growth, I was more concerned with using meditation to relieve stress and find peace of mind, especially in the heightened, fast-paced world of New York City. Other than a few yoga classes, where my main instructions were to close my eyes and focus on my breathing, I had no experience meditating—especially not as a solitary act. I wasn’t sure how to begin, so naturally, I Googled it.
I found myself in virtual worlds of guided meditation. There were step-by-step numbered guidelines for hundreds of variations. There were podcasts that featured voices with a chirpy Wisconsin accent: “Find a place where you can be alone. It would be nice if it could be somewhere other than where you normally spend your time. If that’s not possible, move to another area of the room.” I found myself content to leave my computer aside, and begin a simple practice of restful breathing, focusing my attention inward, for 15-20 minutes a day. After all, Buddha didn’t reach a state of nirvana while listening to an audio recording, or any technology for that matter.
One would think that sitting comfortably upright with eyes closed, focusing on gentle breathing, would be simple enough. On my first attempt to meditate, however, I ran into incredible resistance. It began even before I sat down. The thought of silence, or rather the state of being awake but at peace, was terrifying.
Never in my life had I experienced this so-called “fourth state of consciousness.” We spend the majority of our lives plugged into the Internet, texting, or among friends, with our attention focused outward, and I didn’t know what turning my attention inward might reveal.
In The Direct Path, one of the books I consulted on my journey, author Andrew Harvey writes, “To sit in meditation ... is to invite the discovery of your essential self beyond the mind.” Even when one is in simple meditation, just sitting and breathing, one is also “[dropping] below the surface of consciousness and [becoming] concentrated on one thing and one thing alone: our authentic identity.”
Although this possible discovery was unsettling, I overcame my anxieties and discovered an inner calm that I’d assumed had been sapped dry. Not to say that my mind was totally at ease, for I found myself pondering experiences I thought had long been forgotten. In Buddhism this is known as “monkey-mind,” where one finds his or her mind jumping from thought to thought like a monkey from tree to tree. In meditation one’s breath is the reminder to return to the present moment and thus to calm the mind.
While some days are easier than others, the relaxation I experience is a godsend. After practicing meditation for only a few months, I feel the rewards. My mind is clearer, I have increased energy, and I am more open to my surroundings. Although I originally had difficulty keeping my thoughts from spinning during meditation, it gets easier every time. My goal of 20 minutes a day now comes more easily, and my initial tendency to squint through closed eyes to check the clock has virtually disappeared.
Now that I am more comfortable with meditation, I find that the time I spend practicing passes more quickly. By giving myself permission to just be, with no outside distractions, I feel healthier and happier. Most importantly, meditation keeps me grounded and reminds me to breathe well throughout the day, keeping my stress in check.
I recently attended the Transcendental Meditation benefit concert, a highly anticipated event held at Radio City Music Hall. The concert underscored how far meditation has come in mainstream culture. The charity event was produced by The David Lynch Foundation, which aims to teach one million at-risk youths to meditate. It reunited Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr for the first time in seven years. McCartney said, “It started for us when we met the Maharishi in India, and it’s going to get bigger and bigger and rule the world.”
In my case, the Internet took the place of a personal guru, but however one begins to practice meditation, it will no doubt lead to greater self-awareness, and hopefully, to the higher state of consciousness that unites us all. For once in my life, I’m eager to follow the masses.
23 April 2009
vol. 6, issue 11
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