PrintE: Hey, what are you up to?
T: yo i’m @ a frat party!
all my bros r here. definitely come check it out. just saw a dude clear 30 straight cups in beer pong. then he claimed 2 be jesus’ son. so awesum. u?
E: I just got to this hip party in Ruggles. All those kids who smoke outside of Carman are here. So much flannel! You should come here instead... really hot girls with string headbands and bangs everywhere!
T: well, they keep the ratio here exactly 1:1. very impressive counting. come here man.
E: Not only are the girls here hotter, but I’ve never seen so many baked goods in my life.
E: Definitely make sure you pick up some arts and crafts before you come though. Colored pencils are a must.
T: i am set dude. just found the doritos. What kind of music are they playing over there?
E: way better than yours. There’s this sick DJ wearing an animal mask. He looked really busy and cool earlier, but now I think he’s just playing Girl Talk on his Ipod and changing the volume a lot, which is legit too.
T: sounds lame. music here = way better. T.I. has awesum beats. bass is super loud tho = can’t hear any lyrics. i could be having heart attack. sweet.
E: Now he’s playing Crystal Castles. People are definitely gonna start dancing.
E: See? this dude just started nodding his head.
E: Wait, I think he was just agreeing that Darjeeling Limited was disappointing.
T: ppl here are much cooler. just met a guy w/ 200 hamdel gold cards in his wallet. he has to wear sweatpants like 24/7.
E: not that cool. Thiis guy is telling me about how he just made out with this girl, but the whole time he was thinking about Thom Yorke. I agreed with him that Thom Yorke is a genius.
T: Hamdel guy thinks i’m his brother. WTF. T: h/o phone on silent. entourage is on.
E: Screw Entourage. We should watch the Wire sometime. Like eight people just told me how great it was. I wasn’t even talking to them. They just approached me and were like “Dude you should totally watch the Wire”
T: just come here quick, we’re about to start 300. hamdel guy was like: TONIGHT WE DINE in HAMDEL. everyone loled.
E: Sounds very uncouth. Everyone here is way more cultured. I can see three people updating their culture blogs right now.
E: Oh, I forgot to mention the alcohol selection here. They have wine, and spiked cider.... actually that’s all I can find. Oh wait they have Pabst. Yes!
T: dude well u should taste thiss Hawaiain Punch i just feel so happy now. :)
T: btw way better view of carman windows from here. tons of lonely freshmen looking @ us. lol sucks.
E: Whatever, I think most of the people at this party ARE lonely freshmen. So hot!
E: Wait, I think my party became an ironic frat party. Should I come to yours because it’s more authentic?
T: sry for slow response, possibly just got roofied.
T: nvm, it was a pingpong ball
E: Oh wait some kids just started dancing to Sufjan Stevens. I’m going to stay.
T: kcool hamdel guy wants to go get a blood test w/ me. i’ll ttyl.